New Years Eve

New Years Eve is a reflection of a moment that reaches for hope, but which often lands in disappointment. New Years Eve holds so many good intentions, so much desire to do things well in the coming year. Yet for me I find there is a loss of a year possibly wasted and a uncertainty for the coming year; a reality for many. ‘Why bother?’ Often becomes the question, after all one can avoid disappointment if no expectations are set. So often I enter into the new year with no plans, resolutions or no expectations, perhaps believing that there can be nothing lost if there is nothing desired or hoped for. That is a little pessimistic, yet deep down, if I’m honest with myself I would like to hope for more.

This comes down to the idea that written on my heart is an undying hope for all the good things that come with beginnings. There are all good things written on our hearts, but so often we cannot see them in ourselves and we think that we have a healthy mindset, but layered deep within all of us,  we are simply denying truth and denying trauma and feeding lies that steal our joy. We tell ourselves ‘it’ll get better’ but the reality we know is that we sacrifice our hopes and dreams to apathy.

Different cultures have different approaches to celebrating New Years Eve. I’ve celebrated with a game of scrabble, I’ve celebrated by travelling to central London, I’ve celebrated with a bottle, but I’ve mostly gone to bed early. Some people in some places share a kiss at midnight. Is this romantic or desperate, a little ick? I’ve never entered into this particular practice. With someone special by one’s side, why not? The heart will always divulge the secrets that no one knew. Maybe this year I will kiss goodbye to the past year and kiss hello to the coming new year. Maybe this year I will choose hope and optimism, to count my blessings and celebrate the good things that have been and the great things that might come.